Here's the story of the funky junky, where did he get all his pills.
Here's the story of the messed up monkey, slipped on banana peel fell.
Here's the story of the peacemaker, he kills people who steal.
Here's the story of the moneymaker, he got sentenced ten years.

Here's the riddle of the grumpy sleeper, she says leave me alone.
Here's the riddle of the loud awakener, screams at the top of his lungs.
Here's the riddle of the masturbater, and his five girlfriends.
Here's the riddle of the record label, where the hell did he go.

Mister please make believe teacher can't force a boy to read.
Mister please doctor disease man on a leash dog can't hold his grip to long
Choke on a bone story untold.

Here's a tragedy-the college flunky, hole in the rubber virgin filled.
Here's a tragedy-the brilliant thinker, drunk driver brain dead.
Here's a tragedy-the music man, gunshot to his ears.
Here's a tragedy-the guitar player, he chopped of his hands.

Mister please make believe teacher can't force a boy to read.
Mister please doctor disease man on a leash dog can't hold his grip to long
Choke on a bone story untold.